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[21 Oct 2004|05:32pm] |
im going to be using this dumb thing to keep people updated on my t shirt project.
julieandjeremy. is in the works, and i hope to bring more info to you guys soon!
xoxo
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[15 Dec 2003|11:26am] |
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i hope you are content without me by your side.
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[08 Nov 2003|04:34pm] |
it feels good giving to others.
knowing deep down that you would lie your life down for someone, just to make them smile...even at the expense of your own happiness, your own heart..thats a feeling i never thought i could afford someone.
i realized: im going to die before i let this person feel hurt or shame again.
a smile growing on her face is so much more important than one on mine.
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| atl...atl.. |
[02 Nov 2003|11:08am] |
savannah georgia
portah and seeley
why spend 5 hours on 2 planes to visit for one day?
because some friends are worth it.
fuck the rest of you fakes
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| ali... |
[01 Oct 2003|05:17am] |
..many, many smiles.
thank you.
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[13 Sep 2003|10:08pm] |
someone once told me that i was annoyingly sensitive.
i realized today that she was right.
i think its time i moved on to something else.
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[04 Sep 2003|10:50pm] |
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i destroyed beth tonight.
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| fill it in |
[06 Aug 2003|06:54pm] |
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the things i miss most are...
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[20 Jul 2003|12:33pm] |
God help all us poor wretches who would create and find that we must lose our hearts for it because we cannot afford to spend our time at it.
He wondered about it as the buildings floated past him.
What is she thinking as i stand here and the town drifts by me like vaporous stage flats?
What are her hands holding?
What expression has she on her lovely face?
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| fuck this heart |
[12 Jun 2003|11:38am] |
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as of right now......
.. i quit.
waking up this morning and finding that email in my inbox proved to me that life does not ever end like it should, there is no fairy tale ending or right over wrong discovery. it just does not happen.
ill learn to live with that.
from this point on, im a new man.
same model as before, just minus the blood pumping organ.
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| <3 |
[24 Apr 2003|11:26pm] |
1. when and how did we meet:
2. have you ever seen me with my shirt off:
3. have you ever seen me cry:
4. describe me in four adjectives:
5. if we could spend a day together what would we do:
6. have we ever gotten in a fight:
7. if you could give me a present what would it be:
8. would you hug me:
9. what do you really think of me:
10. have we ever kissed:
11. has there ever been anything you wanted to tell me, but were scared to:
12. wanna makeout:
13. name one thing you dont like about me:
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| "im calling from work...to tell you i think you are handsome" |
[13 Apr 2003|01:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
murder city devils...RIP |
] |
thats what she called for yesterday.
godspeed you black emperor.
"i want to hold your hand too, but im shy."
suddenly, things are looking up.
sleepovers.
revised drafts of a letter, letters i was never to see, given to me. probably the single most touching thing ive ever been given.
its starting to feel good to be here.
p.s. i sold a used copy of a brittany spears album for $4.99 to GARY CHERONE, from EXTREME at work today. holy fucking shit.
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| silhouettes. |
[01 Apr 2003|01:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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godspeed you! black emperor |
] |
this last week was amazing.
sara came up, and despite all the drama there is now, i had the time of my life.
there are far too many things to write about, but suffice it to say that im glad i had a full week to hang out with her. we got into the city afew times, went to providence to catch daughters and examination of the...complete with 40 oz swilling fools. ian and rachel were there, so that made it just that much better.
after was a long car ride to beverly, where we hung for a few days. we saw an awful movie, ate awful food, and had an over all really great few dyas together. i miss her already.
i do care about this girl, very much so. it just seems that she just wants too much from me too soon. and i dont know how to deal with that. she hurt me once before, and badly. things like that can be forgiven, but not forgotten. i wish it could be, but it cant.
it seems everything has to be all now or nothing. i cant live like that though. im lost enough with everything else going on in my life to even begin stuff like that.
after the sad fare thee well at the airport, i walked aorund cambridge by myself. it felt good to be out in the sun, alone, just taking things in.
it made me feel like taking pictures.
i make my way to derek and kristins house. derek had fixed my bike, so we decided to bike over to the show at the icc. it was akimba, transistor transistor , there were wires, and hot cross.
we get on the bikes and as our luck would have it, it started to rain. but for some reason, we were both stoked. the rain felt great, and so did riding again.
show was good, but nothing special. found out james is going edge, which was the highlight of the night.
rode home after wires in the downpour. it was cold, and messy, and perfect. i couldnt have asked for a better night.
i wish most of my nights would be this good.
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| </3 |
[06 Mar 2003|10:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crushed |
] |
im not very good at words. most of my friends know this, but are usually too kind to say it to my face. blessing in disguise i guess. but im going to try to make a feeble attempt at something sincere and genuine, so if it comes out looking corny, at least know that it was in the best of intentions.
lindsey is leaving in a few hours, and its really just starting to hit me.in the short while ive known her, ive grown more and more fond of her each time weve hung out. the sad thing is, i can only remember us ever hanging out one on one on just one occasion. ah well.
i dont even know where this is going.
you just mean the world to me lindsey. never in my entire life have i been so easily accepted into a close circle of friends. and it feels amazing, knowing that there is a core of friends that care about you, and they know that you are caring back. lindsey did all of this for me, whether she knows it or not. shes the first person in my entire life that i know i could count on for anything. when my senior show came around, demi, chris and linz showed up, and i was happier right then then i had been for months. my 3 friends from boston, they came to see me and my show, because they knew it was important to me. those arent friends; those are people that you wish your friends could someday turn into. friend is too minor of a word for you guys.
fuck.
this thing just keeps going off into tangents. cry then write, cry then write. seems to be the cycle for alot of us.
i dont want this thing to get too ridiculous or over dramatic, so im just gonna cut it short; lindsey, it hurts knowing that you are leaving, but i know deep down its the right thing you have to do. i know this is a million times harder on you than any of us, but just know that a big part of our lives is leaving us tomorrow... a part that i dont want to find a replacement for.
i love you lindsey, and i already miss you so damn much. good luck.
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| everythings eventual. |
[05 Feb 2003|12:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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that mary lou lord song that started it all.... |
] |
sweet like Jer Bear you are. You're a hottie, even
though you deny it. You're loyal to your
friends, trade clothes with them, visit them at
work, and you rock for it. You're such a big
part of 202 that you spend pretty much all of
your time there.
which 202 are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
things are weird again.
im thinking about A alot. it seems like a night doesnt go by where my dreams are overrun with past memories of the girl i let go of. i walk to class, and something, even the tiniest thing qill remind me of her.
i thought i knew what i was doing, but as per usual i had no fucking clue.
sara told me yesterday that ill know when its time for me to make contact again, if ever. she knows way too much for such a small girl. but she knows best.
so now this...the ever present question thats been hovering over my head for months...was it love? was it something new i was afraid to give my entire self over to? or was it just a cowards way of hurting someone that really did care about me? i hurt d to get a, and i hurt a to get.....nothing. i did it for no other reason than that i was afraid id love her too much.
well the jokes on me. im in love...again. still.
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